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i'm tired..
tired of this kinda life.
tired of saying i need to go home when all others are still having fun.
what's the use of telling her in advance that i will be home late because of birthday parties?
she will still call me and ask where the hell i am and ask me to reach home by the time she wants.
i hate it, i hate my life.
i feel ashame to tell people i'm goddamn 23 yrs old next yr. YES, 23!
and ya, i'm still treated like i'm 13.
but well, some 13yrs olds these days dont even get curfew from parents i suppose?
ok, you will say because she cares for me, because she's afraid i get abducted by some bad guys maybe.
no, she's just afraid that i get into trouble and lose her face.
she just dont trust me.
hell well, sometimes i dont trust myself.
just blame it on my bad records.
arghhhhhhhh
i just hate myself.
i just wanna hide myself up and be isolated from the world.
i hate to know how other girls get to enjoy their nights outside of their houses, and back at home only in the morning.
i hate to know how other girls can stayover at their bf's house with their parents' permission.
i also hate to know how the girls parents allow the girls' bf to stayover at their houses.
i seriously hate to know i am reaching 23 but i'm banned from all these and all those freedom which i never get.
yes, i'm her daughter. but pls, i'm not her puppet.
i just envy those parents who just want their children to be happy.
no, mine isn't doing anything to make the family happy.
she starts and ends everyday with scoldings and complainings.
every single tiny small matter she wanna make a fuss out of them.
i cant help but to say she's nowhere near reasonable.
she thinks she's always the correct one.
everytime i point out her mistake, she will say i'm talkingback to her, and start scolding.
she NEVER admits she's wrong.
you know how much i hate working with her, like 5 days a week?
the 6th day will be finally a day peaceful working with my beloved mei, and the 7th day of the week will be my off-day.
dont start saying things like you wish you can see your mother more often while i say i'm tired of seeing her everyday.
hey, i WORK with her. if she's more reasonable or prehaps more friendly, i dont mind.
ya, then say i'm unfilial by saying bad things about her.
i'm afraid if i dont, and keep everything inside my heart, i might go berserk soon.
ps: i hate myself.
 4:06 am |
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